"Dear Jemma,
I am a cat who likes to think things. This is one of the things that
I like to think about: why is it that dogs and cats cannot get along?
Are we so different? Many would say "Yes! We are very different!"
but I say, "No! We are not so very different!"
What do you think?
Sincerely,
Brain"
Dear Brain, 
You are very smart. You like to think things and I like to think
things, too.
When I was on the street--before I went to Jail and Faith found me--there
were many animals that fought with all other animals and took their
food and fought and ate up all the food. But then I went to Jail and
all the animals were the same. All the animals wanted freedom and
a family! It did not matter if the animal had fur or feathers or if
they were big or small or if they had cat eyes or dog eyes. All animals
were the same.
Brain, I think that if all animals were the same in Jail, they are
not so different out of Jail.
That is what I think.
Sincerely,
Jemma 
PS We are the same because you like to think things and I like to
think things, too.
|
"Dear Jemma,
My problem is you-- you long-nose know-it-all who think you know
everything! I am mad with you because you are not nice to cats! You
watch the door, when I try to go outside you are there! You want to
chase me! You want to catch me! I think you want to eat me! But you
cannot catch me, I am too smart and too fast for you, you spotted
know-it-all!
Cat's Rule! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
I not love you,
Penny"
Dear Penny,
You smell like old fish. Why would I want to eat you?! Maybe we should
discuss this over a bowl of nice, crunchy, CAT CHOW!
HA! While you were writing your stupid letter, I ate your dinner!
Your superior,
Jemma
|
"Not-so-Dear Jemma,
All the cats in our neighborhood have had a meeting and we have got
up a Petition that says you should not give advice to anyone! We
are against you! What cats want is a CAT ADVICE WRITER, not some
spotted dog who doesn't know her place! You belong in the back yard
chasing rats, you smelly DOG!
Signed,
One-Hundred-and-One CATS"
Dear Furballs,
I am sooooooo very, very sorry you cats don't approve of me--NOT!
Oh, dear me, oh what will I do when one-hundred-and-one Furballs
come to chase me out of town. Ooh, I'm soooooo scared --NOT!
So very sincerely--NOT!
Jemma
PS Please find enclosed your bill:
101 x  5.00
= 505.00
And 101 copies of my answer for each of you Furballs. Enjoy!
|
"Hi Jemma!
My name is Jemma too! But that is not the point. You see, I LOVE
dogs!
Especially DALMATIANS! I am a cat as well which you will think is
very weird!
Love,
Jemma
XxXxX"
Dear Jemma,
You have a nice name. Ha!
I am sorry for you because you are a cat and not a dog
like me. But, Faith says that cats can do special things that dogs
cannot do, and all animals can do special things that other animals
cannot do, so everyone should be happy with how they are made and
that is all. It is because Life tells you to be a cat, and Life tells
me to be a dog, and Life tells poor Faith to be a girl and have to
walk on only two legs. All the dogs and all the cats should just be
happy that we do not have to walk on only two legs like poor Faith.
Sincerely,
Jemma
|
